HAPPY NEW YEAR., CRABBY!

It’s the Lunar New Year (aka  “Chinese New Year”) all over southeast Asia. On the morning before, ancient rituals were being repeated. The gods were offered a whole chicken and a couple of Cokes! Households were swept clean, hair was cut, and a billion people tried to get home for the holidays. We moved on, another ferry but this time back onto the Thai mainland at Krabi (“Crabby”) Town. Thick mangrove shores instead of white beaches. But still the hordes of (us) backpackers  washed up and scattered away, like the crabs the town is named after.

Our first room at the outskirts Diamond Friends “Resort” failed the hot water test, so we were moved to another  gleaming room that had hot water but no front window! Still, there’s a free shuttle to town, the only diner for miles, and a giant newish swimming pool. for $15. 

In town after dark there were  deep-fried twisty potatoes, big crab statues, and a Lucky-Red stage but we expected fireworks, traditional lion dances, and general street mayhem. There was almost no sign of the New Year at all!  (We have been on the road through 3 New Year’s: Jan. 1, the Lunar New Year, and the Buddhist New Year 2557.) By day the town’s big attractions are the dramatic karst (eroded limestone) outcrops, and the prominent temple carved into rock. 

I have to admit we’re getting crabby, not Krabi these days. The incessant sun and heat. The constant crowds, traffic, and noise that  typify Asia today. The lack of variety and healthiness in the food. I hope to get over it as we enter the second half of this trip. Maybe these guys at the ATM can lend us a few baht for ice cream??

WANNA SEE THE PEE-PEE BANANA?

Another cheap crowded ferry, but it takes you from the sardine can of Patong to the treasure chest of Phi Phi Island. Remember the "h" is silent? So it's pronounced "Pee-Pee". Sheer green cliffs jut out of the water like the walls of an unfriendly fort. But just around the bend are crystal waters and white sand beaches galore. Full disclosure --- the narrow lanes (no cars here!) are crammed with twenty-somethings from all over the world who got the same invitation. Pee-Pee probably has a Facebook account that has only one word on it, but in 20 languages --- party! But somehow there's friendly energy and a carnival of newcomers around every corner. Easily the most beautiful natural scenery around. Gorgeous calm waters that oddly have no sea-salt smell. Coconuts, papayas, pineapples, and bananas.

So coincidentally we have a private bungalow at the Pee-Pee Banana "resort". High-season expensive at $47 but with pool, big breakfast, wifi, and a green mountain view that would have made Tarzan homesick. Mornings it's out to claim some shade near the shore and join all kinds of watercraft luring all kinds of waterpeople. The snorkelling is a fish-voyeur's dream. After dark the alleys are crammed with kick-boxers, Thai massage salons, and dozens and dozens of tattoo parlors. I have my doubts whether the "artists" are trained or regulated but there are lineups of all ages and all 3 genders. No electric needles here either ---- the guys stab you over and over with sharp bamboo picks. Pain  is excruciating but only for a few days!!

A truly world-class destination, a tropical cliche with heat and sea-breezes included. Body parts throb and this couple even got married, in anticipation of this weekend's Chinese New Year. The best island since the hippies' Ios so long ago. Ten wows out of ten.

The main bay is so shallow that a construction barge is floated in at high tide. Then at low tide the front-end loader just drives off onto the sands with the cargo. No dock needed --- and not even the birds are bothered.

PATONG, PARADISE GONE (AND SO ARE WE)

Took the truck/bus 10km over to Patong Beach. This was the first of the dozens of picture-perfect sandy bays on Phuket Island to be "discovered" and then destroyed. (I had a chance to stop here in the '80's but passed it by--- my regret for what must have been back then.) It is now mass tourism like I have never seen anywhere else on earth. The middle-class crowds are jammed in like sardines that actually enjoy being stuffed in the can!

We're on the side-road 4th floor of the "91 Residence", the only accom available in this high season. $48 a night, triple our usual Thai budget. Very modern comfie room with much-needed a/c (it's steamy and hot here). We're also near the anti-government demonstrations that are sweeping Thailand in violence and threats.

If it weren't for the flabby boorish crowds, the beach and Andaman Sea are beautiful. And to their credit, the locals have preserved a shady walkway between the beach chairs and the roaring main shore road. Lots of tempting food aromas from the street vendors. Despite the dozens of nationalities holidaying here, everyone gets by in Thai or English except the Russians! They have a zone of shops in nothing but Cyrillic. Old resentment against the dominant west, or inferiority complex??

Our first chance for a beloved sunset since late December. Then the thrice-daily search for food that's both satisfying and nutritious (hard to get both, if it's fried noodles or organ meats). Cool colourful little tuktuks. Sidewalk artists. A pretty good haircut from Sony, an ambitious single mom in our hood. Picturesque old boats at anchor. All of these made the place appealing, but not enough to stay. The mobs and traffic are making us take the advice of the "fortune sugar" (like fortune cookies) and begin life anew tomorrow.