The Keys to the City

Drove to Key West yesterday ---one of the best top-down adventures there is, with blue sky above you and turquoise waters below. Imagine what a great train ride it could be, if only that "Hurricane of the Century" hadn't ripped apart the Oversea Railway in 1935. That railbed became today's roads and bridges alongside scuba reefs, endangered Key Deer, top level fishing, expensive waterfront real estate, and legendary Key West.

It used to be legendary for drug smuggling, uninhibited gay folks, runaway hippies, and various unsavoury characters. Today it's mostly just another tourist destination/trap with shell shops, Hemingway hangouts, and families gawking at other families on vacation. You can pose with Spiderman, go on a pirate raid, wrap a python around your neck, count 6-toed cats, or singalong with endless Jimmy Buffet impersonators.

But there's still some classic Key West if you look hard enough. Check the licence on that 1955 green Pontiac (poor guy probably needed Higgs' restroom after that drive). The Cuban refugee rescue of the 1980's is still celebrated. There are still chickens roaming the streets. There is whimsical street art, like a statue of a guy painting a statue! And open-air bars lure you with wierd themes, like the one that staples thousands of business cards to its ceiling --- are you looking for an accountant in Kalamazoo??

My favourite event has been the daily Sunset Celebration at Mallory Square. Locals come out to sell pot cookies, pose as silver Statue of Liberty, juggle firesticks, tell dirty jokes for $1, or do anything else to get money or attention from the amused tourists. Oh, and there's usually a giant fireball of a sunset to frame them all. The problem is that Key West has become such an attraction there are 2 or 3 cruise ships docked almost every day. Yesterday about 6,000 passengers clogged the streets and lined up at bars as if their ships had run out of free rum. You can avoid those scenes, but you can't avoid the giant barriers caused by the ships themselves ---- the sunset is blocked from Mallory Square!! Talk about killing the goose that laid the golden egg. Moral of the story --- check the sailing schedules or get your no-ship sunsets at Lake Huron.